How to Get Through Horrifying Process of Literary Agent Submissions
I have reached a critical point in the list of orderly steps in the long march to publication which I have been given by others and have dutifully written down. They are/were as follows:
1. Write the shitty first draft
2. Read it and make less shitty
3. Send it to Kind & Wise Mentory Editor Who Has Read James Joyce
4. Laugh and cry as you read her Kind & Wise suggestions; take 99% of them. Redraft.
5. Send new draft to 28-Year-Old Editor Who Doesn’t Remember President Nixon But Is Much Smarter Than I
6. Enjoy life with no novel to think about and write songs and poems while 28 y-o reads and edits draft.
7. Receive edits from 28-y-o and cry for a month. Decide you are not a novelist. Pick yourself up off the carpet and have a Zoom call with her in which she tells you she had a very hard time editing your novel because it was practically perfect.
8. Wonder if you are crazy.
9. Take 69% of her suggestions and finish the draft.
10. Write a synopsis which is harder than writing the novel
11. Write the query letter which is harder than writing the synopsis
12. Make a list of agents you’d love to work with by finding names in the acknowledgements pages of your favorite novels. Cross off the dead ones.