Yesterday, on the way to a friend’s house, Amelia said to me from her car seat, ” Mama, I still love you even though you can’t talk.” So that was nice.
Being silent is a challenging thing for a blabber mouth like me. The grocery store is surprisingly hard. I feel so rude not saying thank you or even answering the check out people when they say How are you today? The thing is, they never look up when they say that. It makes you realize how infrequently we all look at each other in the face.
I even have a hard time not talking to my pre-verbal William. I whistle to him and click my tongue and he beams and coos. Pretty cute. I love the way his upper lip curls when he makes his little sounds.
One fringe benefit to this whole polyp thing is that I have gotten really hungry for music. I often go long periods- weeks- without putting music on the stereo. Amelia has a boom box in her room where she listens to music every night, but I rarely get music out to listen to for myself. That has changed. Some of my favorites: Dan Zanes’ Sea Music, kd lang’s Hymns of the 49th paralel, and a cool song by Jack Johnson that I heard on the radio. Also, my friends Nalini and Drew made a fantastic mix for my kids when William was born. I love Nickel Creek’s version of The Fox and Amelia is pleased to have Joan Baez’s version of Hush, Little Baby. In fact she listened to it last night instead of my live version. It did not really do the trick. She didn’t fall asleep til 9pm and she woke up at 4:45am. oy.